Phillip Henry. Is Not. One. Of. Your FAAAAANNNNS!

In what has to be one of our favorite – and tbh, long overdue – Twitter rages in ages, someone finally went on a tear about those now-ubiquitous “Only Fans” accounts. If you have Twitter you’ve seen them: Large grey boxes with a thirsty note screaming “I’ve a new fan!” littering your timeline. (It’s a social media app that allows content producers to set a monthly subscription price and get paid for their content. Porn stars have been using it to supplement their income and get paid for exclusive stuff they produce – much of it rather “meh.”)  Fair enough, we’ve no problem with that.



The problem we do have? When the app auto-posts a “I’ve just got a new fan!” message on your timeline if you happen to be following someone who’s using it. It’s truly fucking annoying, and we’ve unfollowed several folks on our Twitter – say hi to us at – whose accounts spew forth with said messages a tad too frequently.


Well, today… someone had enough.


Actor/comedian/writer/fabulous shade tosser extraordinaire Phillip Henry – who goes by “Major Philebrity” on Twitter – went on a full break-it-down tear-it-up toss-it-out takedown of the app and its annoying little messages. Now, while we don’t like or agree with the part below about not paying for porn – don’t get us started on this one, k? – Mr. Henry serves up some piping hot tea with lemon here. He’s not going after porn-stars per se; in fact his diatribe seems to be directed at civilians using the app, and for that we give him a full standing-o.


You can visit him at after you bask in the true glory of this Christina Crawford-esque “Because I am not one of your faaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnns!” destruct-o-thon. Enjoy!


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